PP1: Greek Festival/Claw of Eradication

Get started: When asked to go to a public place and make hypothetical choices that will affect the general population, the urge to (theoretically) choose malevolency was too strong an urge to ignore.  Also, first instincts were embraced and explored.

Location: Columbus Greek Festival, Courtyard

Food: My favorite Greek pastry, galaktoboureko- Delicious

Map: I choose to observe the courtyard area of the festival which served multiple functions.  The east side of the lot held the entrance, a performance space for folk dancing and a small stage with a band and various musicians.  The center and rest of the space held portable tables for dining and various food/alcohol vendors.  The flow of traffic moved erratically (as would any festival) but most often it was cyclical. Existing major technologies were listed in the legend but also included my main focus/perpetrator: the cellphone.

Notes: The highest areas of congestion were around all the vendors as one would suspect but the corner that shared space between access to the bar, stage, musicians and dining area was the most dense. Not only because of sheer numbers, alcohol consumption and children running erratically waiting to perform but a common 2015 problem: the multitasking text and walk combo. While this problem was illuminated in this space, it is a common problems in all areas of the festival (not to mention shopping malls, side walks, the oval, etc.). While hardly anyone can admit to being innocent of this crime, it is more problematic in a setting such as a small festival than it is in a large, public area. For that reason, I choose to devise a system that was effective, isolated and also a bit hilariously cruel.

Devise:

“The class is our master, the claw chooses who will stay and who will go.”- Alien’s, Toy Story

I devised a crane of sorts that can eradicate people who have, in a congested public space, become an obstruction because of their absorption in their devices (particularly, smartphones.)  This would be done by a sensor who reads body posture, as well as other factors, and in a sort-of magnetic field, alien abduction-esque way, be lifted from the space and returned to the entrance where they can re-enter after disregarding their distraction.

I used the ability to ignore actualities of creating this device freely but did determine three factors that needed to be taken in account when determining who gets ejected. They are:

1. Device in hand
2. Curvature of cervical spine
3. Forward mobility

The Claw would have a system of sensors that had the ability to read these various requirements and would only eject perpetrators that met all three. The first would require some sort of heat sensor that could detect the phone was out of a pocket or purse and touching human skin. Then it would also be able to detect the curvature of the cervical spine, since a person can walk and talk on the phone more effectively than when they are hunched over staring at the ground. The final requirement is the necessity for the subject/victim to be in a forward motion, a considerate person can step aside out of a traffic pattern to complete their cellular duties, which should not be punished.

Conclusion:  While this solution is highly impractical in the ‘real’ world, it was enjoyable to not only observe and find a solution, it also gave me a sinister satisfaction to deal with a pet peeve of mine. All the while, with a devising experiential mind.

OPA!