Lawson: Cycle 3 “Wash Me Away and Birth Me Again”

Changes to the Physical Set Up

For cycle 3, knowing that I wanted to encourage people to physically engage with my installation, I replaced the bunched up canvas drop cloths with a 6 ft x 10 ft inflatable pool. I built up the bottom of pool with two folded wrestling mats. Building up the bottom of the pool made the pool more stable and reduced the volume of silk rose petals that I would need to fill the pool. Additionally, I wrapped the pool with a layer of blue drop cloths. This reduced the kitschy or flimsy look of the pool, increased the contrast of the rose petals, and allowed the blue of the projection to “feather” at the edges to make the water projection appear more realistic. To further encourage the audience to physically engage with the pool, I placed an extra strip of drop cloth on one side of the pool and set my own shoes on the mat as a visual indicator of how people should engage: take your shoes off and get in. This also served as a location to brush the rose petals off of your clothes if they stuck to you.

In addition to the pool, I also made slight adjustments to the lighting of the installation. I tilted and shutter cut three mid, incandescent lights. One light bounced off of the petals. Because the petals were asymmetrically mounded, this light gave the petals a wave like appearance as the animation moved over top of them. The other two shins were shutter cut just above the pool to light the participant’s body from stage left and stage right.

Changes to the Isadora Patch

During cycle 2, it was suggested that I add auditory elements to my project to support participant engagement with the installation. For this cycle, I added 3 elements to my project: a recording of running water, a recording of the poem that I read live during cycle 2, and a recording of an invitation to the audience.

The words of the poem can be found in my cycle 2 post.

The invitation:

“Welcome in. Take a rest. What can you release? What can the water carry away?”

I set the water recording to play upon opening the patch and to continue to run as long as the patch was open. I set the recordings of the poem and the invitation to alternate continuously with a 30 second pause between each loop.

Additionally, I made changes to the reflection scene of the patch. First, I re-designed the reflection. Rather than using the rotation feature of the projection to rotate the projected image from the webcam, I used the spinner actor and then zoomed in the projection map so it would fit into the pool. Rather than try to make the image hyper-realistic, I decided to amplify the distortion of the reflection by desaturating it and then using a colorizer actor to give the edges of the moving image a purple hue. I also made minor adjustments to the motion blur to play up the ghostliness of the emmanation.

Second, I sped up the trigger delay to 3 seconds and the deactivate scene trigger to 2 seconds. I made this change as a result of feedback from a peer that assisted me with my adjustments to the projection mapping. She stated that because the length of time of the fading up and down of reflection scene took so long to turn on and off and the reflection itself was so subtle that it was difficult to determine how her presence in the pool was triggering any change. I found the ghostliness of the final reflection to be incredibly satisfying.

Impact of Motion Lab Set Up

On the day of our class showing, I found that the presence of my installation in the context of other tactile and movement driven exhibits in the Motion Lab helped the handful of context-less visitors figure out how to engage with my space. When people entered the Motion Lab, they first encountered Natasha’s “Xylophone Hero” followed by Amy’s “seance” of voices and lightbulbs. I found that moving through these exhibits established an expectation that people could touch and manipulate my project and encouraged them engage to more fully with my project.

I also observed that the presence of the pool itself and the mat in front of it also encouraged full-body engagement with the project. I watched people “swim” and dance in the petals and describe a desire to lay down or to make snow angels in the petals. The presence of the petals in a physical object that visitors recognized appeared to frame and suggest the possibilities for interacting with the exhibit by making it clear that it was something that they could enter that would support their weight and movement. I also observed that hearing the water sounds in conjunction with my poem also suggested how the participants could interact with my work. Natasha observed that my descriptions of my movement in my poem help her to create her own dance in the pool sprinkling the rose petals and spinning around with them as she would in a pool.

The main hiccup that I observed was that viewers often would not stay very long in the pool once they realized that the petals were clinging to their clothes because of static electricity. This is something that I think I can overcome through the use of static guard or another measure to prevent static electricity from building up on the surface of the petals.


A note about sound…

My intention for this project is for it to serve as a space of quiet meditation through a pleasant sensory experience. However, as a person on the autism spectrum that is easily overwhelmed by a lot of light and noise, I found that I was overwhelmed by my auditory components in conjunction with the auditory components of the three other projects. For the purpose of a group showing, I wish that I had only added the water sound to my project and let viewers take in the sounds from Amy and CG’s works from my exhibit. I ended up severely overstimulated as the day went on and I wonder if this was the impact on other people with similar sensory disorders. This is something that I am taking into consideration as I think about my installation in January.

What would a cycle 4 look like?

I feel incredibly fortunate that this project will get a “cycle 4” as part of my MFA graduation project.

Two of my main considerations for the analog set up at Urban Arts Space are disguising and securing the web camera and creating lighting that will support the project using the gallery’s track system. My plan for hiding the web camera is to tape it to the side of the pool and then wrap it in the drop cloth. This will not make the camera completely invisible to the audience, but it will minimize it’s presence and make it less likely that the web cam could be knocked off or into the pool. As for the lighting, I intend make the back room dim and possibly use amber gels to create a warmer lighting environment to at least get the warmth of theatrical lighting. I may need to obtain floor lamps to get more side light without over brightening the space.

Arcvuken posed the question to me as to how I will communicate how to interact with the exhibit to visitors while I am not present in the gallery. For this, I am going to turn to my experience as neurodivergent person and my experience as an educator of neurodivergent students. I am going to explicitly state that visitors can touch and get into the pool and provide some suggested meditation practices that they can do while in the pool in placards on the walls. Commen sense isn’t common – sometimes it is better for everyone if you just say what you mean and want. I will be placing placards like this throughout the entire gallery for this reason to ensure that visitors – who are generally socialized not to touch anything in a gallery – that they are indeed permitted to physically interact with the space.

To address the overstimulation that I experienced in Motion Lab, I am also going to reduce the auditory components of my installation. I will definitely keep the water sound and play it through a sound shower, as I found that to be soothing. However, I think that I will provide a QR code link to recordings of the poems so that people can choose whether or not they want to listen and have more agency over their sensory experience.


Lawson: Cycle 2

The poem shared in the videos:

I’m sorry that I can’t be more clear.

I’m still waking up.

This body is still waking up.

What a strange sensation,

To feel a part of you dying while you’re still alive.

What a strange sensation for part of you to feel like someone else.

Maybe she was someone else.

I can’t explain the relief that I feel to let her go.

I can’t explain the peace that I feel,

To give myself back to the dust,

On my own terms this time.


That’s just it.

My past life, Wisteria’s life, is dust.

That life caught fire and returned to the durst from which it came…

But the rain came just as it always does

Cleansing tears and eternal life cycle.

It reminds me that this body is seventy percent water

Intimately tied to planer just the same

That will always come to claim it’s own.

Wash me away and birth me again.


When I still prayed to a god they taught me about baptism.

How the water washes away your sin.

How you die when they lay you down.

How you are reborn when they raise you up.

While Wisteria turns to dust,

I return myself to the water, still on my own terms.

I watch my life in the sunlight that dances on the surface

Let the current take her remains as my tears and the Earth’s flow by.

Grieving…

Lost time

Self-loathing

The beautiful possibilities choked off before they could take root

The parts of myself that I sacrificed in the name of redemption.


And the water whispers love.

I am not sin.

I am holy.

I am sacred.

I am made of the stuff of the Earth and the universe.

No forgiveness, no redemption is necessary.

Only the washing away of the remains of the beautiful mask I wore.

Only the washing away of self-destruction and prayers for mercy.

And when I emerge I hope the water in my veins will whisper love to me

Until I can believe it in every cell…


Technical Elements

Unfortunately I do not have images of my Isadora patch for Cycle 2. I will share more extensive images in my Cycle 3 post. The changes applied to the patch are as follows:

  • Projection mapping onto a square the size of the kiddie pool that I will eventually be using.
  • Rotating the projection map of the “reflection” to match the perspective of the viewer.
  • Adding an “Inside Range” actor to calculate the brightness of the reflection.
  • Colorizer and HSL adjust actors to modify the reflection.

For Cycle 2, I also projected onto the silk rose petals that will form the bulk of the future projection surface and set the side lighting to be optimal for not blinding the camera. Before the final showing on December 8, I need to spray the rose petals with starch to prevent them from sticking to each other and participants’ clothing.

For Cycle 3, I know that I will need to remap the projections once the pool is in place. One of the things that I observed from my video is that the water animation and the reflection do not overlap well. Once I have the kiddie pool in place, it will be easier to make sure that the projections fall int he correct place.

I also want to experiment with doubling and layering the projection to play into the already other-worldliness of the digital “water.” I may also play with the colorization of the reflections as well. The reflection image is already distorted; however, it is incredibly subtle and, as noted by one of the viewers at my showing, potentially easy to miss. Since there is no way to make the reflection behave like water, I see no reason not to further abstract this component of the project to make it more easily observable and more impactful on the viewer.


Reflections and Questions

One of my main questions about this part of the project was how to encourage people to eventually get into the pool to have their own experience in the water. For my showing, I verbally encouraged people to get in and play with the flower petals while they listened to me read the poem. However, when this project is installed in exhibition for my MFA project, I will not be present to explain to viewers how to participate. So I am curious about how to docent my project so that viewers want to engage with it.

What I observed during my showing and learned from post-showing feedback is that hearing me read the poem while they were in the pool created an embodied experience. Hearing my perspective on the spiritual nature of my project directed people into a meditative or trance-like experience of my project. What I want to try for Cycle 3 is creating a loop of sections of my poem with prompts and invitations for physical reflections in the pool. My hope is that hearing these invitations will encourage people to engage with the installation. I will also provide written instructions alongside the pool to make it clear that they are invited to physically engage with the installation.


Lawson: Cycle 1

My final project is yet untitled. This project will also be a part of my master’s thesis, “Grieving Landscapes” that I will present in January. The intention of this project is that it will be a part of the exhibit installation that audience members can interact with and that I will also dance in/with during the performances. My goal is to create a digital interpretation of “water” that is projected into a pool of silk flower petals that can then be interacted, including casting shadows and reflecting the person that enters the pool.

In my research into the performance of grief, water and washing has come up often. Water holds significant symbolism as a spirit world, a passage into the spirit world, the passing of time, change and transition, and cleansing. Water and washing also holds significance in my personal life. I was raised as an Evangelical Christian, so baptism was a significant part of my emotional and spiritual formation. In thinking about how I grieve my own experiences, baptism has reemerged as a means of taking control back over my life and how I engage with the changes I have experienced over the last several years.

For cycle 1, I created the Isadora patch that will act as my “water.” Rather than attempting to create an exact replica of physical water, I want to emphasis the spiritual quality of water: unpredictable and mysterious.

To create the shiny, flowing surface of water, I found a water GLSL shader online and adjusted it’s color until it felt suitably blue: ghostly but bright, but not so bright as to outshine the reflection generated by the web cam. To emphasize the spiritual quality of the digital emanation, I decided that I did not want the watch to be constantly projecting the web cam’s image. The GLSL shader became the “passive” state of the patch. I used difference, calculate brightness, and comparater actors with active and deactive scene actors to form a motion sensor that would detect movement in front of the camera. When movement is detected, the scene with the web cam projection is activated, projecting the participant’s image over the GLSL shader.

To imitate the instability of reflections in water I applied a motion blur to the reflection video. I also wanted to imitate the ghostliness of reflections in water, so I desaturated the image from the camera as well.

To emphasize the mysterious quality of my digital water, I used an additional motion sensor to deactivate the reflection scene. If the participant stops moving or moves out of the range of the camera, the reflection image fades away like the closing of a portal.

The patch itself is very simple. It’s two layers of projection and a simple motion detector. What matters to me is the way that this patch will eventually interact with the materials and how the materials with influence the way that the participant then engages with the patch.

For cycle 2, I will projection map the patch to the size of the pool, calibrating it for an uneven surface. I will determine what type of lighting I will need to support the web camera and appropriate placement of the web camera for a recognizable reflection. I will also need to recalibrate the comparater for a darker environment to keep the motion sensor functioning.


Lawson: PP3 “Melting Point”

For Pressure Project 3, we were tasked to improve upon our previous project inspired by the work of Chuck Csuri to make the project suitable to be exhibited in a “gallery setting” for the ACCAD Open House on November 3, 2023. I was really happy with the way that my first iteration played with the melting and whimsical qualities of Csuri’s work, so I wanted to turn my attention to the way that my patch could also act as it’s own “docent” to encourage viewer engagement with the patch.

First, rather than wait until the end of my patch to feature the two works that inspired my project, I decided to make my inspiration photos the “passive” state of the patch. Before approaching the web camera and triggering the start of the patch, my hope was that the audience would be curious and approach the screen. I improved the sensitivity of the motion sensor aspect of the patch so that as soon as a person began moving in front of the camera, the patch would begin running.

When the patch begins running, the first scene that the audience sees is this explanation. Because I am a dancer and the creator of the patch, I am intimately familiar with the types of actions that make the patch more interesting. However, audience members, especially those without movement experience, might not know how to move with the patch with only the effects on the screen. My hope was that including instructions for the type of movement that best interacted with the patch would increase the likelihood that a viewer would stay and engage with the patch for it’s full duration. For this reason, I also told the audience about the length of the patch so audience members would know what to expect. Additional improvements made to this patch were shortening the length of the scenes to keep viewers from getting bored.

Update upon further reflection:

I wish that I had removed or altered the final scene in which the facets of the kaleidoscope actor were controlled by the sound level watcher. After observing visitors to the open house and using the patch at home where I had control over my own sound levels, I found that it was difficult to get the volume to increase to such a level that the facets would change frequently enough for the actor to attract audience member’s attention by allowing them to intuit that their volume impacted what they saw on screen. For this reason, people would leave my project before the loop was complete seeiming to be confused or bored. For simplicity, I could have removed the scene. I also could have used an inside range level actor to lower the threshold for the facets to be increased and spark audience attention.


Lawson: PP2 Inspired by Chuck Csuri

My second pressure project is inspired by the two Chuck Csuri works below: Lines in Space (1996) and Sign Curve Man (1967). I love the way that each work takes the human form and abstract it, making it appear that the figures melt, warp, and fray into geometric shapes and rich, playful colors.

Lines in Space, 1996
Since Curve Man, 1967

For my project, I wanted to allow the audience a chance to imitate Csuri’s digital, humanoid images in a real time self-portrait. I also wanted to build my project around the environmental factors of an art gallery – limited space in front of each art work, a mobile audience with split attention, and ambient noise. In addition to the patch responding to the movement of the audience, I wanted to introduce my interpretation of Chuck Csuri’s work in layers that progressively built into the final composite image. You can see a demonstration of the Isadora self-portrait below.

To draw the audience’s attention to the portrait, I built a webcam motion sensor that would trigger the first scene when a person’s movement was detected in the range of the camera. I built the motion sensor using a chain of a video-in watcher, the difference actor, a calculate brightness actor, the comparator to trigger a jump scene actor. If the brightness of the webcam was determined to be greater than 0.6, the jump scene actor was triggered. So that the jump actor would only be triggered once, I used a gate actor and trigger value actor to stop more than one trigger from reaching the jump actor.

Once the patch had detected a person in the range of the webcam, the remainder of the patch ran automatically using chains of enter scene triggers, trigger delays, and jump scene actors.

To imitate the colored banding of Csuri’s work, I filtered the image of the web came through a difference actor set to color mode. The difference actor was connected to a colorizer actor. In order to create the fluctuating colors of the banding, I connected a series of envelope generators to the colorizer that raised and lowered the saturation of hues on the camera over time.

In the next scene I introduced the sense of melting that I experienced in Csuri’s work by adding a motion blur actor to my chain. At the same time, I attached a soud level watcher to the threshold of the difference actor to manipulate it’s sensitivity to movement. This way the patch is now subtlely responsive to the noise level of the gallery setting. If the gallery is noisy, the image will appear brighter because it will require less movement to be visible. This visibility will then fluctuate with the noise levels in the gallery.

In the next scene I introduced the warping and manipulation I observe in Csuri’s work. I wanted to play with the ways that Csuri turns real forms into abstract representations. To do this, I introduced a kaleidoscope actor to my chain of logic.

My final play scene is a wild card. In this scene, I connected the sound level watcher to the facet element of the kaleidoscope actor. Instead of the clarity of the image being dependent on the noise level of the gallery, the abstraction or warping of the image would be determined by the noise levels. I consider this scene to be a wild card because it’s effectiveness is dependent on the audience realizing that their talking or silence impacts their experience.

The patch ends by showing the audience my inspiration images and then resetting.

In thinking about improving this patch for Pressure Project 3, I want to consider the balance of instructions and discoverability and how to draw in and hold an audience member’s attention. I am unsure as to whether my project is “obvious” enough for an audience member to figure out what is happening without instructions but inviting enough to convince the audience member to stay and try to figure it out. I also know that I need to calibrate the length of my black out scenes and inspiration image scenes to make sure that audience members are drawn to my installation, but also don’t stay so long that they discourage another audience member from participating in the experience.


Lawson: Pressure Project 1

For pressure project one, I was inspired to create a narrative as opposed to an infinite loop. I have recently been interested in outerspace and interstellar processes and decided to create an animation of a supernova, albeit in a simple, geometric representation.

To create a sense of time and scale, I played with trigger delays, envelope generators, and the fade in/fade out aspects of the jump++ actor. Playing with the fade in and fade out aspects of the jump scene actor helped me to create the perception of a camera zooming out to show the entire solar system. Trigger delays and envelope generators allowed me to establish movement of particular elements and create a sense of passing time. Because I did not yet know about the spinner actor I used a wave generator to manipulate the planet shapes’ horizontal and vertical positions long an elliptical pathway. To prevent them from traveling together in a straight line, I gave each planet a different scale limit and used trigger delays to offset the initiation of the planets’ pathways. For this reason, the planets appear to move in a random pathway across the screen, rather than circular orbits.

To create the sun’s “explosion,” I used an envelope generator to increase it’s scale over 10 seconds. In the next scene I used the shimmer actor to disrupt the pointed red shape and the dots actor to disrupt the yellow circle. The seeming “fizzling” of the sun was achieved through the cross-fade between scenes.

If I was to improve this patch, I would want to first, reduce the load on the Isadora program and offset the limited power of my computer’s processor, and second, create an orbit for my planets using the spinner actor. I might also use the explode and particle actors to create a “real” explosion of the sun rather than the illusion that I created using the shimmer actor. Additionally, I think that I could use the layer functions and blend mode of the projector actors to allow the planets to disappear and reappear around the sun, rather than showing up as bright spots when the images overlap.

Upon further reflection…

From a storytelling and pacing standpoint, I wish that I had allowed the scene in which the planets appear to stay longer. For me, the scene jumps to quickly after the last planet appears, rushing the story rather than establishing the presence of a solar system. For similar reasons, I wish that I had used a similar strategy of trigger delays and envelope generators to allow the stars to appear at the end of the story. I think that the narrative would have had a more satisfactory ending had I allowed the stars to slowly establish themselves rather than appear all at once. It would have also been a more satisfying final image if I had used a particle generator to create a background of smaller stars- this would have created significantly more depth to the screen.