Lawson: Cycle 2
Posted: November 30, 2023 Filed under: Nico Lawson | Tags: Cycle 2, dance, Digital Performance, Interactive Media, Isadora Leave a comment »The poem shared in the videos:
I’m sorry that I can’t be more clear.
I’m still waking up.
This body is still waking up.
What a strange sensation,
To feel a part of you dying while you’re still alive.
What a strange sensation for part of you to feel like someone else.
Maybe she was someone else.
I can’t explain the relief that I feel to let her go.
I can’t explain the peace that I feel,
To give myself back to the dust,
On my own terms this time.
That’s just it.
My past life, Wisteria’s life, is dust.
That life caught fire and returned to the durst from which it came…
But the rain came just as it always does
Cleansing tears and eternal life cycle.
It reminds me that this body is seventy percent water
Intimately tied to planer just the same
That will always come to claim it’s own.
Wash me away and birth me again.
When I still prayed to a god they taught me about baptism.
How the water washes away your sin.
How you die when they lay you down.
How you are reborn when they raise you up.
While Wisteria turns to dust,
I return myself to the water, still on my own terms.
I watch my life in the sunlight that dances on the surface
Let the current take her remains as my tears and the Earth’s flow by.
Grieving…
Lost time
Self-loathing
The beautiful possibilities choked off before they could take root
The parts of myself that I sacrificed in the name of redemption.
And the water whispers love.
I am not sin.
I am holy.
I am sacred.
I am made of the stuff of the Earth and the universe.
No forgiveness, no redemption is necessary.
Only the washing away of the remains of the beautiful mask I wore.
Only the washing away of self-destruction and prayers for mercy.
And when I emerge I hope the water in my veins will whisper love to me
Until I can believe it in every cell…
Technical Elements
Unfortunately I do not have images of my Isadora patch for Cycle 2. I will share more extensive images in my Cycle 3 post. The changes applied to the patch are as follows:
- Projection mapping onto a square the size of the kiddie pool that I will eventually be using.
- Rotating the projection map of the “reflection” to match the perspective of the viewer.
- Adding an “Inside Range” actor to calculate the brightness of the reflection.
- Colorizer and HSL adjust actors to modify the reflection.
For Cycle 2, I also projected onto the silk rose petals that will form the bulk of the future projection surface and set the side lighting to be optimal for not blinding the camera. Before the final showing on December 8, I need to spray the rose petals with starch to prevent them from sticking to each other and participants’ clothing.
For Cycle 3, I know that I will need to remap the projections once the pool is in place. One of the things that I observed from my video is that the water animation and the reflection do not overlap well. Once I have the kiddie pool in place, it will be easier to make sure that the projections fall int he correct place.
I also want to experiment with doubling and layering the projection to play into the already other-worldliness of the digital “water.” I may also play with the colorization of the reflections as well. The reflection image is already distorted; however, it is incredibly subtle and, as noted by one of the viewers at my showing, potentially easy to miss. Since there is no way to make the reflection behave like water, I see no reason not to further abstract this component of the project to make it more easily observable and more impactful on the viewer.
Reflections and Questions
One of my main questions about this part of the project was how to encourage people to eventually get into the pool to have their own experience in the water. For my showing, I verbally encouraged people to get in and play with the flower petals while they listened to me read the poem. However, when this project is installed in exhibition for my MFA project, I will not be present to explain to viewers how to participate. So I am curious about how to docent my project so that viewers want to engage with it.
What I observed during my showing and learned from post-showing feedback is that hearing me read the poem while they were in the pool created an embodied experience. Hearing my perspective on the spiritual nature of my project directed people into a meditative or trance-like experience of my project. What I want to try for Cycle 3 is creating a loop of sections of my poem with prompts and invitations for physical reflections in the pool. My hope is that hearing these invitations will encourage people to engage with the installation. I will also provide written instructions alongside the pool to make it clear that they are invited to physically engage with the installation.